Charlie Brooker Online Script

Charlie Brooker’s: How to Report the News

SCENE #1

QUICK SNAPSHOT OF FUZZY TV

Fuzzy TV sound

SCENE #2

CUT SHOT TO BROOKER AT NEWS DESK

Brooker: "Before long a standard news report visual language established itself. One that is immediately recognizable to anyone. Me has this report."

SCENE #3

FADE INTO SHOT OF BUILDINGS

Brooker: “It starts here. With a lack luster establishing shot of a significantlocation."

Windy swooshing sound

SCENE #4

CUT TO BROOKER STROLLING DOWN BUSY SIDEWALK

Brooker: “Next a walking talking preamble from the author walking steadily towards the lens, punctuating every other sentence with a hand gesture ignoringall the pretemiliam around him like he’s gliding through the f****** matrix.”

BROOKER USING EMPHASIZED HAND GESTURES

BUSY STREET
PEOPLE WALKING AND TALKING
SOUNDS OF BUSES STOPPING AND GOING
FREQUENT TRAFFIC

STOPS CONTINUING EYE CONTACT WITH CAMERA

Brooker: “Before coming to a halt and posing a question….What comes next?”

SCENE #5

CUT TO SHOT OF PEOPLE WALKING DOWN STREET IN SLOW MOTION

Brooker Voice Over : “Often something like this..."

SCENE #6

FADE INTO SHOW OF MORE PEOPLE WALKING IN SLOW MOTION

Brooker: “…a fellow shot designed to give your eyes something to look at while myvoice babbles on about facts.”

SCENE #7

FADE INTO ANOTHER SHOT OF SLOW MOTION WALKING FREEZE FRAME TO BLACK AND WHITE

Brooker: "...Sometimes it’ll slow down to a halt, turn monochrome

LIST OF “FACTS” APPEAR ON SCREEN

Brooker: " ...and some of those facts will appear one by one on the screen.”

SCENE#8

CUT TO MULTIPLE SHOTS OF FAT PEOPLE WITH HIDDEN IDENTITIES

Brooker: “this is followed by obligatory shots of overweight people with their facessubtly framed out. After which the report is padded out with lazy and pointlessvox pop.”

BUSY STREET OF PEOPLE

People talking amoungst eachother
Traffic sounds
Buses and cars stopping and going.

SCENE #9

CUT TO INTERVIEW WITH MAN ON BUSY SIDE WALK

Man: “Um you usually get some inane chatter from people.”

SCENE #10

INTERVIEW WITH WOMAN ON BUSY SIDE WALK

Woman: “I think they have too much. I think what we wanna hear is actuallywhat’s happening and not what other people think of it.”

SCENE #11

CUT TO INTERVIEW WITH MAN ON BUSY SIDE WALK

Man: “I hate these sound bytes, I, uh, I, uh, don’t want some other’s opinionusually, no.”

SCENE #12
CUT TO SHOTS OF BUSY SIDE WALK IN FAST FORWARD

Brooker: “Another bit of dull visual abstraction to plug another gap now…”

SCENE #13
CUT TO SHOT OF STREET CORNER IN FAST FORWARD MODE

Brooker: “Before the report segways gracefully into a bit of human interestcourtesy of…”

SOMEONE PRESSES “WALK” BUTTON

SCENE #14CUT TO MAN OPENING LETTERS SITTING AT TABLE

Brooker: “…some dowdy man opening letters in explaining how he’s been affectedby the issue.”

SCENE #15

MAN AT TABLE SPEAKING WITH CAPTION: "DOWDY KITCHEN MAN" UNDER HIM

Man at table: “When I’m watching the news, I don’t really, you know there’s a person talking to me, telling me what’s going on and I don’t really listen to whattheir saying.”

SCENE #16

CUT TO SHOT OF HIM READING BILLS SILENTLY

SCENE #17

CUT TO SHOT OF MAN ANSWERING QUESTION

Man at table: “It’s just news. It’s just news.”

SCENE #18

CUT TO SHOT OF ANIMATED INTEGER NUMBER GRAPH

Brooker: “He unfortunately was boring, so to wake you up here is an animatedchart.”

SCENE #19

CUT TO GRAPHIC WITH “AVERAGE” CAPTIONED OVER

Brooker: “…This is a silhouette representing the average family…”

SCENE #20

CUT TO IMAGE OF LIGHTHOUSE WITH MAN AND PIPE

Brooker: “…And this is a light house keeper being beheaded by a laser beam."

THEN DECAPITATED

SCENE #21

CUT TO SCENE OF AVERAGE PEOPLE IN STREET

Brooker: “As we near the end of the report…”

SCENE #22

CUT TO SCENE OF PEOPLE TAKING PICTURES ON STREET

Brooker: “…Illustrative shots of pedestrians…”

SCENE #23

CUT TO SCENE OF PEOPLE WALKING ACROSS STREET

SCENE #24CUT TO IMAGE OF RANDOM STREET SIGNS

Brooker: “…And signs…”

SCENE #25

CUT TO IMAGE OF PIPES HANGING OUT WINDOW

Brooker: “…And a pipe out a window...”

SCENE #26

CUT TO BROOKER IN MIDDLE OF SIDEWALK SPEAKING

Brooker: “And then the final summery ending on a whimsical shot of somethingnearby accompanied by a rise sign off.”

CAMERA SHOT UP TOWARDS BUSY STREET, PEOPLE WALKING/TALKING

SHOW STREET SIGN READNIG: “REGENT STREET”

Brooker: “If your lucky a bit of word play fit for a king, or in another words a regent street. Charlie Brooker, News wipe, London."

Bud Light Online Script

SCENE #1:

ESTABLISHING SHOT- IN MEDIEVAL TIMES-

KNIGHTS SWORD FIGHTING.

Breaking glass, yelling, fighting, heavy breathing.

SCENE #2:

KNIGHT HELD BY SWORD POINT ON TABLE, RIGHT NEXT TO PRODUCT

End of scene bell rings.

Director: “Cut!”

SCENE #3:

DIRECTOR FLIPS SCREEN OVER

Director: “What’s that doing on my set?”

Assistant: “Product Placement sir."

SCENE #4:

Assistant: "Whenever we feature a product in a scene we get tons of free stuff”

DIRECTOR LISTENING

SCENE #5:

DIRECTOR FLIPS SCREEN BACK AROUND

Director: “Here we go.”

SCENE #6:

KNIGHT HOLDS WOMAN HOSTAGE WITH SWORD-LOOKING OFF TOWARDS SAME DIRECTION

Clanging, banging, swooshing

Woman: "Ah! My Lord!"

SCENE #7:

BUD LIGHT BOTTLE STAINED GLASS WINDOW

Breaking glass

SUDDENLY BROKEN, KNIGHT JUMPS THROUGH

SCENE #8:

KNIGHT LANDS ON FEET PREPARED TO FIGHT

clank clank

breaking glass

yelling

SCENE #9:

FIGHTS OFF GROUP OF KNIGHTS WITH SWORD

swoosh

clank

clank

SCENE #10:

HOLDS BUD LIGHT BOTTLE TO CAMERA AND SMILES WHITE FIGHTING OFF MEN STILL

clank

swoosh

SCENE #11:

HERO LOOKS TO WOMAN HOSTAGE

SCENE #12:

COCKS HEAD TO SIDE

Hero: “Really?”

SCENE #13:

VILLAIN LOOKS NERVOUS

SCENE #14:

HERO THROWS BOTTLE AT VILLAIN

swoosh

SCENE #15:

thud

KNOCKING HIM OUT FREES WOMAN

SCENE #16:

HERO KNEELS IN FRONT OF HER, TAKING OFF HAT

COURTING WOMAN

Hero: "My lady"

SCENE #17:

BUD LIGHT TRUCK BUSTS IN BEHIND

Walls breaking down, glass cracking

vrooooom

SCENE #18:

THREE BOTTLES OF ICE COLD BUD LIGHT

Narrator: “A sure sign of a good time. The just right taste of Bud Light. Here we go.”

SCENE #19:

SHOWS SET WITH DIRECTOR, ASSISTANT, AND KNIGHT DECKED OUT IN BUD LIGHT WITH BUD LIGHT SYMBOL ON CHEST

FIGHTING CONTINUING ON IN BACKGROUND

Breaking bottles, swooshing

My Thursday Morning Entertainment

So, today while in class I was watching various advertisments on YouTube, where I stumbled upon possibly the COOLEST THING EVER. I can't embed the video for reasons you will see, so here is the link. Definetly check it out, I've watched it about five times already.

www.youtube.com/blackbeetle

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Who is me?

A photo of myself in NYC

My name is Katarzyna McCormick, or Kasia for short. I'm from Holliston a small suburban town in Massachusetts. I lived in this little town since I started middle school, and it was really really boring most of the time.

During the holiday I had the opportunity to spend several nights in Time Square. It was not only a stimulating place for your eyes, but the bright LCD screens that cascade over the buildings create an intense and tantalizing injection of media. Advertisements adorn ever single surface, in your face graphics, pictures, and sounds amplified the busyness of NYC. It made me think, what would it be like to see yourself on one of those screens, stories high...
I definitely don't want to know.

Flickr member's Cooldeep http://www.flickr.com/photos/cooldeep/galleries/72157623292685327/

What I like about 21st century media culture is the ability to stay connected. For example, my mother is an immigrant from Poland. She used the technology of phoning for years, which although effective in keeping in touch, she has added the media of email to her routine. What I dislike about 21st century media is the images it has created. I feel as if society is truly beginning to rot from hoax ads and bad egg celebrity spokesman always following up with some kind of drama. Girls skirts are getting shorter, and the average mans biceps are reaching sickening strengths, an image all created by the demise the media culture of today.
Think---Jersey Shore (ew)
Ronnie at the shore

I hope to one day be involved with television, possibly behind or in front of the scenes. Though, my professional vision is a constant changing area with many different points of interesting, especially event planning and photography.


Photos I took of my mom's garden, Holliston

I just watched this YouTube video for the first time recently and it made me laugh so I wanted to share it with you! =)

The sleep running dog

"Got not time for spreading roots, the time has come to be gone. And though our health we drank a thousand times, it's time to ramble on."
-Led Zeppelin's Ramble on