Charlie Brooker Online Script

Charlie Brooker’s: How to Report the News

SCENE #1

QUICK SNAPSHOT OF FUZZY TV

Fuzzy TV sound

SCENE #2

CUT SHOT TO BROOKER AT NEWS DESK

Brooker: "Before long a standard news report visual language established itself. One that is immediately recognizable to anyone. Me has this report."

SCENE #3

FADE INTO SHOT OF BUILDINGS

Brooker: “It starts here. With a lack luster establishing shot of a significantlocation."

Windy swooshing sound

SCENE #4

CUT TO BROOKER STROLLING DOWN BUSY SIDEWALK

Brooker: “Next a walking talking preamble from the author walking steadily towards the lens, punctuating every other sentence with a hand gesture ignoringall the pretemiliam around him like he’s gliding through the f****** matrix.”

BROOKER USING EMPHASIZED HAND GESTURES

BUSY STREET
PEOPLE WALKING AND TALKING
SOUNDS OF BUSES STOPPING AND GOING
FREQUENT TRAFFIC

STOPS CONTINUING EYE CONTACT WITH CAMERA

Brooker: “Before coming to a halt and posing a question….What comes next?”

SCENE #5

CUT TO SHOT OF PEOPLE WALKING DOWN STREET IN SLOW MOTION

Brooker Voice Over : “Often something like this..."

SCENE #6

FADE INTO SHOW OF MORE PEOPLE WALKING IN SLOW MOTION

Brooker: “…a fellow shot designed to give your eyes something to look at while myvoice babbles on about facts.”

SCENE #7

FADE INTO ANOTHER SHOT OF SLOW MOTION WALKING FREEZE FRAME TO BLACK AND WHITE

Brooker: "...Sometimes it’ll slow down to a halt, turn monochrome

LIST OF “FACTS” APPEAR ON SCREEN

Brooker: " ...and some of those facts will appear one by one on the screen.”

SCENE#8

CUT TO MULTIPLE SHOTS OF FAT PEOPLE WITH HIDDEN IDENTITIES

Brooker: “this is followed by obligatory shots of overweight people with their facessubtly framed out. After which the report is padded out with lazy and pointlessvox pop.”

BUSY STREET OF PEOPLE

People talking amoungst eachother
Traffic sounds
Buses and cars stopping and going.

SCENE #9

CUT TO INTERVIEW WITH MAN ON BUSY SIDE WALK

Man: “Um you usually get some inane chatter from people.”

SCENE #10

INTERVIEW WITH WOMAN ON BUSY SIDE WALK

Woman: “I think they have too much. I think what we wanna hear is actuallywhat’s happening and not what other people think of it.”

SCENE #11

CUT TO INTERVIEW WITH MAN ON BUSY SIDE WALK

Man: “I hate these sound bytes, I, uh, I, uh, don’t want some other’s opinionusually, no.”

SCENE #12
CUT TO SHOTS OF BUSY SIDE WALK IN FAST FORWARD

Brooker: “Another bit of dull visual abstraction to plug another gap now…”

SCENE #13
CUT TO SHOT OF STREET CORNER IN FAST FORWARD MODE

Brooker: “Before the report segways gracefully into a bit of human interestcourtesy of…”

SOMEONE PRESSES “WALK” BUTTON

SCENE #14CUT TO MAN OPENING LETTERS SITTING AT TABLE

Brooker: “…some dowdy man opening letters in explaining how he’s been affectedby the issue.”

SCENE #15

MAN AT TABLE SPEAKING WITH CAPTION: "DOWDY KITCHEN MAN" UNDER HIM

Man at table: “When I’m watching the news, I don’t really, you know there’s a person talking to me, telling me what’s going on and I don’t really listen to whattheir saying.”

SCENE #16

CUT TO SHOT OF HIM READING BILLS SILENTLY

SCENE #17

CUT TO SHOT OF MAN ANSWERING QUESTION

Man at table: “It’s just news. It’s just news.”

SCENE #18

CUT TO SHOT OF ANIMATED INTEGER NUMBER GRAPH

Brooker: “He unfortunately was boring, so to wake you up here is an animatedchart.”

SCENE #19

CUT TO GRAPHIC WITH “AVERAGE” CAPTIONED OVER

Brooker: “…This is a silhouette representing the average family…”

SCENE #20

CUT TO IMAGE OF LIGHTHOUSE WITH MAN AND PIPE

Brooker: “…And this is a light house keeper being beheaded by a laser beam."

THEN DECAPITATED

SCENE #21

CUT TO SCENE OF AVERAGE PEOPLE IN STREET

Brooker: “As we near the end of the report…”

SCENE #22

CUT TO SCENE OF PEOPLE TAKING PICTURES ON STREET

Brooker: “…Illustrative shots of pedestrians…”

SCENE #23

CUT TO SCENE OF PEOPLE WALKING ACROSS STREET

SCENE #24CUT TO IMAGE OF RANDOM STREET SIGNS

Brooker: “…And signs…”

SCENE #25

CUT TO IMAGE OF PIPES HANGING OUT WINDOW

Brooker: “…And a pipe out a window...”

SCENE #26

CUT TO BROOKER IN MIDDLE OF SIDEWALK SPEAKING

Brooker: “And then the final summery ending on a whimsical shot of somethingnearby accompanied by a rise sign off.”

CAMERA SHOT UP TOWARDS BUSY STREET, PEOPLE WALKING/TALKING

SHOW STREET SIGN READNIG: “REGENT STREET”

Brooker: “If your lucky a bit of word play fit for a king, or in another words a regent street. Charlie Brooker, News wipe, London."